DESIGN THE LIBERTY

Let us never negotiate out of fear. But, let us never fear to negotiate.

~John F. Kennedy, 35th President of the United States

It can be a negotiation on your bank loan terms or negotiation with your boss about getting flexible working schedule which you need to start your own online business.

All the decisions are made by people. And sometimes you can pursue people to make the decision which is more favourable for you. No matter in which sphere: work, business or your personal life.

So, what are the best methods that professional negotiators have developed, used and shaped throughout the years?

As usual, first you need to understand the main principle and then get into the details (this is where Devil is, remember?). So, the main principle is to 

Avoid the ego fight by keeping discussion on the objective non-personal level and present your position in a way that allows the other side to get some value and accept it without loosing a face.

How can it be done? Let’s look at the best of the best methods, secrets and tricks:

1. Prepare as good as you can

It is extremely important: gather the information and all the facts that you will use to your advantage later. If it’s a business negotiation get to know prices, competitors, consumers, partners, trends, etc.

2. Chose the right place and time

It’s important. You should be able to negotiate without being limited in time or interrupted by the other things.

3. Be enthusiastic about negotiation

You should be actually willing actually willing to negotiate. Your level of energy and assertiveness defines a lot. If you’re confused about the whole thing, then you’ll try to finish it as soon as impossible and your opponent will use it to his/her advantage.

It’s better to think of it as a kind of game which can be fun to play. But don’t confuse assertiveness with aggressiveness. The latter won’t get you anywhere.

4. Challenge the status quo

This is an extremely important part of mindset that you should have. It’s impossible to negotiate when you take everything for granted. Teach and train yourself to make your own judgements and think for yourself.

When you cannot doubt the arguments of the other side and see the real value of things you can easily get manipulated into doing something.  

For instance, salesperson can try to convince you that you’re already getting the best deal that you’re buying amazing car and you’re even getting the discount. And it’s easier to believe that, because it wouldn’t require any additional efforts from your side.

But reality can be that the car is not the best to choose, that you’re buying it on the higher price than you could and that it comes with too much unnecessary options that you either don’t need or can get three times cheaper in the other place later. Remember, your opponent is usually interested in the outcome. Be ready to challenge the first offer and the status quo.

Actually, start right now. Challenge this tip. Maybe it’s not that important at all?

5. Be realistic in your expectations from the other side

Before even starting to negotiate you should make an assumption of what terms would be preferable and acceptable for the other side. Asking for tenfold decrease in price won’t get you anywhere, but will only build an image of a person nobody should have business with.

6. Define your own goals and draw a line for worst case scenario

It’s critically important to know your own goalsbecause if you don’t it will be easier to convince you to reconsider your position to your disadvantage. Another important thing is to know the possible minimum/maximum that you can accept in the worst case scenario. If you know that it’s absolutely impossible for you to accept prices lower than $10 for instance than there is no way you’re going to accept $8 and then find out that you’re in trouble.

You should be ready to walk away in case if even your worst case scenario expectations are not met. If you are not ready to walk away you won’t be able to say “No”.

7. Don’t get too emotionally involved, don’t get it personal and don’t act too interested

Don’t confuse energy with emotions. Being energetic doesn’t mean getting too emotionally involved. You know, being emotional contradicts with being professional a lot.

8. Have a defined and time-bound discussion

In case if the other side is less interested in the negotiation at the first place (e.g. you’re trying to sell something), mention the goals of the discussion and time it’s going to take and try to keep it short as you promised.

9. Realize that everything is negotiable

It’s good to start with a belief that there are no rules, only arrangements. And they can be negotiated upon. 

Don’t get fooled by a salesperson or a real estate agent who says that you cannot change anything in the contract you’re about to sign. They can also tell you that there are rules that you cannot change. Or that nobody else asks such questions and everybody simply signs it the way it is. Cut the bull-shit. This is your signature in the contract. And you’re the one who is going to decide what to sign and whether to sign it at all. So, feel free to change or add things that you want to see there or cross-out those that you don’t like. Later, you can discuss with them and probably some of the changes are going to be rejected, but the key point is that you always have a permission to challenge the terms. If the other side still insists that you’re not allowed to do it because of the rules, ask them to show you the proof.

10.Start with even more favourable position

It’s going to let you back off a little bit without actually doing it. For instance, you want to pursue the other side to do something in one month, but start with actually trying to convince them to do it in two weeks. And then you agree on equilibrium “one month”.

 

11. Be polite

That’s extremely important to prevent the ego fight and have a constructive conversation. Otherwise the other side will take it personally and will never agree with you even if you’re right. Again, if you’re more interested in the negotiation it’s a good idea to ask for permission (and actually wait for the reply!) to continue.

12. Be open-minded

Not just state that you are. But actually be ready to take the other perspective and to look at things differently.

At the particular point it’s better to shut up and just listen. Try to really understand your opponent’s position and the reasons behind it. Being assertive doesn’t mean that you should talk all the time. Otherwise, try to understand first.

13. Think win-win and emphasize it

Not only try to find solution that suits both sides and meets the needs of the other party, but also don’t forget to emphasize your common interests with usage of words like “we can”, “together it’s possible for us”.

14. Don’t be in a hurry

 

You should have enough time and don’t be in a hurry. Firstly, it can annoy the other party. Secondly, you are in the disadvantageous position if you’re limited in time.

It can be especially important for the Western-minded people trying to negotiate with someone from the Eastern part of world. People in Asia or Middle East culturally and historically often look at time differently. For them, it’s not a resource that should be saved, so be ready for unhurried talk.

15. Always give value back

This may seem obvious, but so many people forget about it that it’s worth repeating.

For example, you want to negotiate with you land lord to lower the rent payment. There is no benefit for the landlord, unless you order something in exchange. It can be the longer period of stay or the first payment for more than one month (you can pay for the first 3 months or even half a year). In this case there is a benefit of an additional security and value. Therefore, it’s possible for you to get lower per month payments.

16. Think outside the box (or without the box )

It may sound like just a useless figure of speech, but again don’t just consider yourself the outside-the-box thinker, but try to actually come up with some original ideas and customized solutions.

17. Agree with the opponent if he/she makes the proper point

It will help you not to get all of your ideas rejected as well(just because they are yours and opponent wants to defeat you). Also, it helps to establish realistic discussion based on the objective facts;

 

18. Referring to the objective reality and using the favourable facts.

There is always information available that you can do the research into before the negotiations. And then use it to convince the opponent. Use such statements as “of course we would like to sell you cheaper (or buy from you at the higher price), but the current market situation supposes that….”

It creates an impression that you’re professional and business oriented and allows you not to get stuck on the personal level of negotiation.

19. Negotiate on the higher level

Sounds great, but does it actually mean? The idea is not to get stuck on the level of the preferences and desired outcomes of the both parties. Otherwise, try to get on the other level and understand the reasons behind these preferences or desired outcomes.

How do you apply it in practice? For example, bank refused you a loan, telling you that that’s it’s impossible to get it with you credit history.

But the reason behind it can be that they assessed risk to be too high and security of the transaction to be too low. However, in case if you provide some additional proofs of solvency you can get a loan. You can do it by putting something in pledge or asking someone to become your guarantee/underwriter.

20. Use the “Perfect Conditions” trick

If nothing else helps ask your opponent in what conditions could he/she accept your offer/position and try to get it from there.

21. Use the “Exceptions” trick

If you still cannot get any agreement try to ask your opponent if he/she ever made an exception. Regardless what the answer is (“yes” or “no”) ask why. It can help with generating new ideas.

22. Use mutual commitment

“If you do A, we do B”. Such mutual commitments make it psychologically harder to break the agreement.

23. Avoid the direct bargaining and use the third-parties opinions

Instead of bargaining directly you can refer to the third-parties and their opinions.

For example, if your potential partner doesn’t really like the product you can point out to the fact that it doesn’t really matter. Because if consumers like it (and provide some facts here), your partner still can make money selling it, regardless of personal preferences.

24. Appeal to the ego / self-conceit

Try to present your offer in a way that your opponent will actually feel as a winner instead of looser if he or she accepts it. Use questions like “Can you?”, “Are you allowed to?”, “Do you have permission to make this decision?”

It’s incredibly powerful!

25. Sometimes it better not to be a decision maker

To prevent excessive pushing from the other side sometimes it’s better to mention that the final decision will be done by your boss or that you simply have to discuss it with your spouse.

26. Usually try not to be the first one to announce your position

For instance, instead of telling how much you want for the advertising campaign development, ask what budget your customer has. It leaves you some room and usually allows to get better results.

27. Be ready to take the responsibility

Be ready to confirm your responsibility and commitment, in written form if needed it shows that you have serious intentions and attitude.

28. Know when it’s time to close

Don’t be in a hurry, but don’t postpone the final agreement too much. But when time is perfect make the direct offer.

29. Don’t celebrate right away

Leave the other side with a feeling that you’re not totally satisfied with the agreement instead of making them feel you’ve cheated them into accepting your position.

It’s strategically better to act like you have compromised a lot. Not like you’ve fooled you opponent. Otherwise, there is a chance that you will have difficulties in the future.

30. Get the official confirmation

Don’t stop till the contract is signed (or you have other confirmation). Otherwise, it’s possible for the other side to change mind. 

These are the most important principles. There are easy to understand, but not so easy to adapt and use in everyday life, so you need to practice a lot.

I wish you good luck with your negotiations and hope this article helped you!

If you have any additional ideas or comments I’d love to hear them!

A LITTLE BONUS:

Funny negotiation video. Don’t get it to that point please!